Coaches Corner 5: 3 Risks of Assuming

Even the best coaches can get easily sidetracked and lose credibility by leaning too hard on assumptions. Below are 3 of the risks we face when we assume along with tools to prevent these risks from turning into reality:

• Risk 1: Loss of credibility. Entering a coaching conversation assuming we know the full picture ahead of time causes us to lose credibility with those we coach. 
• Tool 1: Assume good intent. If you are going to assume then assume the other person has good intent in why they did what they did. Assume he or she made the best decision they knew how in the timeline. 
• Tool 2: Ask open ended questions to truly understand. Ex. "I want to make sure I see the full picture here. This is what I'm seeing. Can you fill in the gaps for me?"
• Risk 2: Loss of valuable time. In relationships slow is fast. Lack of understanding when coaching will slow down the overall process by potentially putting the other person on the defensive. 
• Tool 1: Plan out your coaching questions first. What do you need to understand? How can you gain emotional traction by seeking first to understand?
• Tool 2: Practice empathy. Before going into the coaching conversation take time to reflect about how the other person may be feeling. Practice prior to and carry the feeling of empathy into your coaching.
• Risk 3: Loss of open communication. Assumptions often come across as judgement to others. When the message of criticism is the dominant message others tend to shut down.   
• Tool 1: Check the ego. Start off by saying how you know you don't have the full picture and your intent is to first understand. "I'm feeling frustrated by our current situation and I need to understand what got us here. This is how I see it. I'd love to hear your perspective."
• Tool 2: Always avoid talking over another person. As soon as you interrupt you set a standard that you are more important and that your message is most important. This leads to the other person shutting down and you have destroyed open communication. 
• Tool 3: Listen, restate and listen again. Rather than interrupting, hear what the other person is saying. Restate to ensure understanding and listen again to ensure you have heard the other person fully.

Beware of the risks of assuming in your daily coaching. We tend to be particularly prone to these pitfalls when we are tired, frustrated, hungry, lonely or sad. Plan ahead and I'm confident you will succeed. Coach on!